Ghosted After a Gig Lead? Nomad's 3 Strikes Follow-Up (Episode 184)

Low maintenance / no drama.

You had a great conversation. You were going to set something up. Then nothing. In Episode 184 of The Career Musician, Nomad tackles a feeling every working player knows: getting ghosted. He hates it too. So he built a simple system for following up like a pro and letting go without losing your cool.

If you have ever wondered how to follow up on a gig without looking desperate, this is the episode. It comes down to three strikes and one closed loop.

Know what you want from the contact

The first question Nomad asks himself: what do I want from this person? If it is just a hang, say another guitarist who wanted to talk rigs, and they blow you off, no sweat. Blow it off. Give them three shots, and by the third, you are done.

"Give them three shots, and then by the third shot, done. And by the way, that's the rule. Three strikes, you're out."

Nomad, 2:07

The three strikes follow-up for a real job lead

Now move up the food chain. You are talking to an MD about a keyboard audition, you thought you connected, and she goes quiet. Nomad's pacing: give it about a week, then send a short email saying you enjoyed the conversation and look forward to auditioning. Still nothing? Give it another week. That is your third and final strike.

Make that third one diplomatic. His example: just checking in one more time, I enjoyed talking with you, I was excited to audition for the keyboard position, I realize you're busy, and if anything opens up in the future, please keep me in mind. Thank you so much.

That is low maintenance / no drama in writing. You stay professional, you leave the door open, and you protect the relationship. Remember that everything you do is an audition, including the follow-up email.

Close the loop and track it

Why stop at three? Because you can't carry that disappointment around every day for the rest of your life. Leaving the loop open lets the angst and wondering eat away at you. The third message closes it in your own mind.

When Nomad is on the hunt for work, he tracks leads in a simple Google spreadsheet: name, contact info, phone, email, socials, job title, then first, second and final date of contact, plus a notes column. When a lead is done, he grays out the row. It means you handled it. It doesn't mean you will never reach back out in the future.

It is usually not about you

Nomad is point blank here. Typically, it is not about you. People get busy. Something sidetracked them and they forgot. Or they decided they don't want to use you for this one, and you have to be cool with that. Don't get stressed. Don't get bummed out. Move on.

"Typically it's not about you. It's really not about you."

Nomad, 6:18

There is so much more opportunity coming, he says. It might not be the big gig you pictured, but something is going to present itself.

The takeaway

Three strikes, a gracious last message, a grayed-out row, and you move on with a clear head. When the next audition comes, show up ready with the free Audition Secrets guide.

Get the gig. Keep the gig. Build the career.

Watch on YouTube or find every episode on the TCM Podcast page.