Insincere Sincerity: Real Music Industry Relationships (Episode 183)

Low maintenance / no drama.

You know the type. "Fam, you're my bro, I love you, man, I got you." Then the going gets tough on the gig, and that same person goes silent. They don't speak up for you. They just disappear. In Episode 183 of The Career Musician, Nomad calls it insincere sincerity, and makes the case for keeping it real in your music industry relationships.

It is a quick episode with a simple message: be the real one in a room full of noise.

Over the top is a red flag

This business is hard. There are no two ways about it. Nomad describes himself as a straight shooter who never sugarcoats things. Speaking the truth has gotten him in trouble more than once. He would still rather be fully transparent than fake.

"I'd rather be 100% transparent and open than be fake."

Nomad, 1:12

That is how career musicians actually connect with one another: down to earth, honest, real.

What a sincere answer sounds like

Say someone tells you they are looking for work, maybe a player you just met at NAMM. The over-the-top reply is, "Oh man, I got you. I know the perfect gig for you." It sounds great. It also sounds too good to be true.

The reply Nomad prefers is simpler: "That's good to know. I'll make a note, and if I hear something, I'll let you know. Want to grab a cup of coffee?"

"Be sincere, but don't be over the top. There's no need to."

Nomad, 2:20

Don't promise what you can't deliver. People remember who followed through. Everything you do is an audition, including how you answer a colleague asking for help.

Don't be a hype monster

The same goes for compliments. Nomad loves giving them when they are deserved. "Man, that was some badass playing. You crushed it." Say it, mean it, move on. What he can't stand is showering people with ornate accolades for everything. Chances are they have heard it all before.

He is not asking anyone to be closed off or hide their feelings. He is asking for sincerity, period. That is Humility from the ETHOS code: no performance, just honesty.

The takeaway

Notice insincere sincerity, decide you don't like that trait, and don't do it yourself. Be honest, be cool, and show up when it counts. That kind of energy spreads. If you are the one looking for work, the free Get the Gig guide covers how to put yourself out there the right way.

Get the gig. Keep the gig. Build the career.

Watch on YouTube or find every episode on the TCM Podcast page.